Overachieving
Is overachieving good? Or bad? Are parents right to relentlessly push their kids to overachieve? Is it a bad thing? Like, there’s something wrong with it?!
Like I say in all my articles, I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, I am just a regular guy and a parent sharing my own experience with what I see around me.
I often meet with friends who have kids same ages as mine and somehow the conversation end up in talking about kids… go figure, right!! Lots of times the conversation becomes a contest in who’s child is better at what!
Sentences would start with something like, “my son (or daughter) got 20/20 in physics… amazing, he (or she) is a genius… I’m not saying that because it is my kid… non non je te jure (French-Lebanese for “no no I swear”) … but he (or she) hardly ever studies.” Etc. etc. etc. bla bla friggin’ bla!
Why is it so important to always label our kids as overachievers?
Why do parents become the social #Instagram for their kids?
Why is the need to show off so profound that people push their kids to exhausting limits?
I’m not even going to try to tread into what horrible things this does to kids!!! This is where you need a psychiatrist (or psychologist) to give an educated opinion, not a regular Joe like yours truly.
I stumbled into a similar conversation a few days ago… true story (je te jure 😁)… and after a pause I asked a question, and the conversation went like this:
Me: is your daughter happy?
Friend: [5 second pause] of course she is, why wouldn’t she be?
Me: that is not a definitive yes!
Friend: I’m sure she is.
Me: what other things does she know or like to do? I mean outside school… does she know how to light a campfire? Properly and safely shoot a rifle? Ski, or skate, or rollerblade? Hike? Paint? Swim? Anything??!!
Friend: aaahhh no no just normal kid stuff, spends most of her time on her phone, sometimes hangs out with friends.
I was beside myself when I heard that. So many kids are either studying (as in this sample!) or have their head buried in a phone, iPad, or a laptop; this is a sad place to be.
Please understand this is not aimed at all parents. Some parents provide the right environment or platform for their kids and sit back let them do their thing. And to me, this is the right way to go. Kids can excel in whatever they like and can hold back on things they don’t like. Academics are only one side of life, let’s not make it the dominant one.
Expose your kids to academics, sports, nature, music, human socializing (not virtual); sit with the elderly (they have so much to offer and so much we can learn), do community or charity work, etc. the list is endless.
Broaden their horizons until they find what makes them happy and choose their own paths… and then, and only then, watch them as they overachieve on their own terms, not yours.
Well folks, this was my Verbal Breakdown, till the next one, keep it safe, keep it real, and keep it simple.
Ralph
Disclaimer: The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this article belong solely to the author, and not to the author’s employer, organization, committee, or other group or individual.
